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| It's Only Me From Over The Sea |
WELL, I'M STILL wending my way through this bright, beautiful world. I spent more than 1 climacteric year in Minnesota...after the years in the desert in reflection, it was a cooling off period, quite literally. My time on lake Superior was rather dreadful; but I realised at last that my struggle in life has always been worth it; and, although I have not gotten to use my creativity in the volumes of tangible work as I had hoped thus far in life, that I have applied that unique creativity in all that I have done, not the least of which has included the help and encouragement that I have given others when they truly needed it and did not expect it.
On this trip I have come to understand my limitations, and my absolute limits also, which has so often surprised me. The winter I spent in a studio, working on a bit of art, worrying a great deal, and reviewing my life to date. The frigid air was unkind to my lungs in particular, and I now know I cannot spend another winter in so cold a clime. With a couple exceptions, I made essentially only acquaintances in Minnesota: surprisingly, despite being very polite people, I must comment that they were not the most open. I lived in a neighborhood with a massive population of folk from Somalia; and by and large they were some of the nicest folk I've ever met. That neighborhood was very safe--I probably could have gone to sleep in the park there if I wanted. There were a large quantity of squirrels in the area, my fave of which was an albino, whom I was not finding easy to see in the winter snow times--except when running along the wires, which did nicely for a squirrel highway. In April I visited the grave site of an artist I admired when young. Although I regained some lost weight over the winter, I've already lost it again, sadly. My hair has been disappointing me by thinning out; though the visible platinum streaks are a bonus. Someone said to me, 'It is a privilege to grow older--think of how many people who don't get the opportunity.' I had never thought of that.
I truly wanted to meet the glam rock musician and brilliant transgender artist Venus de Mars, and was disappointed not to have seen a show by her. Though in the final week in Minneapolis, I was walking some obscure street in the neighborhood taking a shortcut to the local library, and who should I see at a yard sale, but she herself! I told her how she has always been an inspiration to others and that the work she has done has always demonstrated that she has been true to herself, and thus an amazing success: she gave me a hug then and we parted. I realised that the universe was saying to me, 'It's ok now: you can move on if you want to.' It was one of many assurances I got then, and I left.
Life has proven to be difficult, dangerous and beautiful all at the same time: or within proximity of each. I certainly should NOT be travelling: the effect on my body in light of my injuries is truly disheartening and terrifying at times: I am taking my chances almost, with the utter recklessness of the doomed, and I know it. But I also know that I am a traveller and will not go quietly to whatever fate awaits me. I still continue to feel that if I burn with brilliant brightness, I am like to go out suddenly, with only an afterimage remaining: but what an afterimage it will be. I will burn into the retina of all who beheld me, in all the moments of my existence.
Until then, here's a bit of my memories.
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| Sunset, Grand Marais MN |
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| An Incomplete Fairy Ring |
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| Tiny Library House: Common in MN |
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| A Kitty Who Came To Visit In Maplewood |
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| The Micronauts Used To Live Here |
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| Tree Artwork On Card Catalog Sheets |
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| We Ravens Have Fine Spirits |
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| Queen On More Card Catalog Discards |
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| Some Lovely Black-Eyed Friends |
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| Clever Fish Catalog Cards, MPLS Lib |
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| Guess Whooo? |
